The Predator Facehugger piece was the last substantial sculpture that I did for a very long time. I drifted further away from my creative interests, and if I'm honest, I paid a heavy price for it. Being creative is a vital part of who I am, and by not being creative anymore, over time caused my mental health to suffer greatly. There were also other stressful things going on in my life over those years, that I think also contributed to my mental and creative decline.
In 2013, I did kind of re-surface, but it was with very mixed feelings. A couple of my old film college friends were getting ready to shoot a short film called Happy Bakewell. I'd heard from another friend that they were struggling to find people to help out, so I offered to volunteer. I assumed that they'd just need an extra pair of hands on set, or something. However, they asked me to do a bunch of make-ups for them, and some explosive bullet hit FX. This wasn't what I was expecting, but they were so happy that I'd offered to help, I didn't have the heart to refuse.
I dug my old make-up kit out of the attic to see what I still had that could be used. It wasn't much but I made do. The bullet hits were a bit of a problem but after a bit of research I managed to come up with something using compressed air and fake blood.
The make-ups for the drug addicts were created using good old mortician's wax and some grease-paint. It worked out okay, and I was even offered some further work on a feature film by the actor who was playing the hit-man. I wasn't in a position to take on any other work, but it was nice to be asked.
The problem was that whilst doing the make-ups for this film my anxiety was going crazy and it made me feel quite ill. I was regretting it all and felt that I was stupid to have gotten involved. The confidence that I once had was nowhere to be found and I was glad when it was over. Never did I think that I would ever feel this way, but right then, I did. I managed to hide it all though and got on with what needed to be done. My two friends wanted me to work on the next project that they were planning, but I just couldn't do it. I was too afraid to get involved with anything else.